Engineer

papasmurf
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Post by papasmurf » Wed Sep 27, 2017 10:06 am

My wife having witnessed over the last 40 years me solving engineering problems/repairing things sent me this.
(She is under stress at the moment and undergoing a lot of medical tests.)
She has a lot more faith in me than I do in myself.
Image



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Post by wizzard » Wed Sep 27, 2017 12:13 pm

Having read the bit at the bottom, dont ask me, I dont now either! :D
Any bike with three cylinders has one too many.....................

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Post by papasmurf » Wed Sep 27, 2017 12:41 pm

A Salute To The Engineers

Now the Lord of the Realm has glorified the Charge of the Light Brigade,
And the thin red line of the Infantry, when will their glory fade?
There are robust rhymes on the British Tar and classics on Musketeers,
But I shall sing, till your eardrums ring, of the Muddy Old Engineers.

Now it's all very fair to fly through the air, or humour a heavy gun,
Or ride in tanks through the broken ranks of the crushed and shattered Hun.
And its nice to think when the U-Boats sink of the glory that outlives the years,
But whoever heard an haunting word for the Muddy Old Engineers?

Now you musn't feel, when you read this spiel, that the sapper is a jealous knave,
That he joined the ranks for a vote of thanks in search of a hero's grave
No your mechanised cavalrys' quite alright and your Tommy has drained few peers,
But where in hell would the lot of them be, if it weren't for the Engineers,

Oh they look like tramps but they build your camps and sometimes lead the advance,
And they sweat red blood to bridge the flood to give you a fighting chance
Who stays behind when its getting hot, to blow up the roads in the rear?
Just tell your wife she owes your life to some Muddy Old Engineer,
Some dusty, crusty, croaking, joking Muddy Old Engineer.

No fancy crest is pinned to their chest, if you read what their cap badge says,
Why 'Honi Soit Qui Mal Y Pense' is a queersome sort of praise,
But their modest claim to immortal fame has probably reached your ears,
The first to arrive, the last to leave, the Muddy Old Engineers,
The sweating, go getting, uproarious, glorious Muddy Old Engineers.

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Post by Dieselspanner » Wed Sep 27, 2017 3:49 pm

Rudyard Kipling


Hymn of Breaking Strain

1935
THE careful text-books measure
(Let all who build beware!)
The load, the shock, the pressure
Material can bear.
So, when the buckled girder
Lets down the grinding span,
'The blame of loss, or murder,
Is laid upon the man.
Not on the Stuff - the Man!

But in our daily dealing
With stone and steel, we find

The Gods have no such feeling
Of justice toward mankind.
To no set gauge they make us-
For no laid course prepare-
And presently o'ertake us
With loads we cannot bear:
Too merciless to bear.

The prudent text-books give it
In tables at the end
'The stress that shears a rivet
Or makes a tie-bar bend-
'What traffic wrecks macadam-
What concrete should endure-
but we, poor Sons of Adam
Have no such literature,
To warn us or make sure!

We hold all Earth to plunder -
All Time and Space as well-
Too wonder-stale to wonder
At each new miracle;
Till, in the mid-illusion
Of Godhead 'neath our hand,
Falls multiple confusion
On all we did or planned-
The mighty works we planned.

We only of Creation
(0h, luckier bridge and rail)
Abide the twin damnation-
To fail and know we fail.
Yet we - by which sole token
We know we once were Gods-
Take shame in being broken
However great the odds-
The burden of the Odds.

Oh, veiled and secret Power
Whose paths we seek in vain,
Be with us in our hour
Of overthrow and pain;
That we - by which sure token
We know Thy ways are true -
In spite of being broken,
Because of being broken
May rise and build anew
Stand up and build anew.

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Post by ChrisD » Wed Sep 27, 2017 6:23 pm

I was an auditor in local govt and had mates who were engineers. They had a poster..
Engineers, guys who get their hands dirty and win the battles.
Auditors, guys who go in after the Engineers and bayonet the wounded.
Lawyers, guys who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies.
UTC

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Post by Jamstealer » Wed Sep 27, 2017 7:06 pm

What is 2+2?

Mathematician: "4"
Engineer: " between 3 and 5 assuming 25% margin of error".

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Post by FrancisBarnett » Wed Sep 27, 2017 11:22 pm

Jamstealer wrote:
Wed Sep 27, 2017 7:06 pm
What is 2+2?

Mathematician: "4"
Engineer: " between 3 and 5 assuming 25% margin of error".
Accountant : "What result do you want?"
Brexit is like watching your library being burnt down by people who never learned to read.

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Post by kitcarman » Thu Sep 28, 2017 11:05 am

Sorry to her your wife is unwell,Wish her well. icon_Hi ya!

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Post by papasmurf » Thu Sep 28, 2017 11:34 am

kitcarman wrote:
Thu Sep 28, 2017 11:05 am
Sorry to her your wife is unwell,Wish her well. icon_Hi ya!

Cheers, she is going for an MRI scan in a few days (the large full body scan type.)

This is why she sent me the picture of the tshirt, just a sample:-

Image

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Post by nev » Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:00 pm

Wow real engineering. Does the scanner work better on its side? and is the attached motorcycle powerful enough for the electromagnets employed by said scanner?
papasmurf wrote:
Thu Sep 28, 2017 11:34 am
Cheers, she is going for an MRI scan in a few days (the large full body scan type.)

This is why she sent me the picture of the tshirt, just a sample:-
Garage_de_Papasmurf.jpg

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